I was dropping a few hints in past blogs on how I would write something on January 26th for a reason. Today is that day. And this is the reason.
When I turned 30 in December 2007, I was in a pretty depressed state. Ok with my job, but nothing progressing. Other than work colleagues, no actual friendships in my life which was something I was used as I was THE social outcast in my high school. Never been in a relationship (and still not for my own reasons.) I had made the promise that I needed to do something that would make ME happy I just didn't know what it would be.
On January 26, 2008, I was in my basement on my laptop browsing about the web when I went to people.com and this article, while halfway down the page, caught my eye.
At first I thought this had to be a cruel joke but since it wasn't Easter and it's not a gossip site, I felt my body break out into a sweat. As I read through the article, I felt the tears starting to form but I didn't want to believe it. I instantly headed to nkotb.com I was aware that the site used to be a fan site (I actually used to help scan photos for it and even had my own email@example.com email address!) but I eventually lost touch with the site and the last I had checked on it was a few months prior when it was under construction, but I had thought they were just revamping the fan site. When I logged on to the site, I was greeted by the following sight and sound. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYJxc7zbmi4
At first I was thinking "what is this supposed to mean?" Then it started to hit me "Wait...this isn't one I heard before. This doesn't sound like 1990. OMG, Donnie got voice lessons!" (Hey, I'm being honest lol.) And the tears started to fall. I'm not to type to show emotions but I broke down and sobbed. The one thing I never expected though secretly hoping it would happen was materializing. .
As you have seen through my tweets, blogs and postings, I have done my fair share of adventures in those 5 years. I've gone through a lot of changes in my life both good and bad. There are some events I would love to relive over, others I wished I can erase entirely. Many people I have met through this became my closest friends which for someone who's never been close to anyone, is still an adjustment. I am still a long way off from the person I want to be, but because of this, I'm at least further away from the person I was.
As we close the book on the last 5 years and move ahead to what the next stage is for all of us, I just wanted to say thank you for everyone for the best 5 years of my life. For my fellow Blockheads who inspire me, who help me to be somewhat stronger physically, mentally and emotionally (even though I am crying once again while writing this) I am grateful.
For four of the men who made this decision, you have no idea what this has meant for me and I'm thankful that you're back in my life.
As for that other man...I owe him so much that it will be the longest debt ever to pay off :*)